UPDATE: Maybe tomorrow I'll wanna settle down...

It's a funny old thing moving house. That overwhelming feeling of displacement, it takes a while to settle.

I've had the theme tune from The Littlest Hobo (remember the little dog who didn't belong to anyone? No? See below) stuck in my head all week. There's a voice that keeps on calling me, down the road that's where i'll always be....



Anything out of the ordinary or not planned seems to throw me into total chaos. SO before I use this as an excuse to extend that to my diet/fitness I'm joining WeighWatchers quicksmart.

So after week 1, I've lost 1.5lbs and I'm enjoying it. The new system takes a while to get your head around (if you did the old points system) but looks at the nutritional values after you've eaten whatever it is - this all makes perfect sense! It takes planning and vigilant tracking, but I'm hoping it will work (and the iphone app is bloody genius.) What is the moral of the story? Slow and steady wins the race. (There is nothing in my very being that EVER wants to delay gratification so this is tricky.)

My WW rules

In addition to the actual WW rules, I'm following a few of my own...
1. Protein with every meal
2. Make treats count by going for good quality every time. Eg, Booja Booja raw chocolate truffles - divine! Seriously, I had a Dairy Milk the other day and it tasted foul.
3. Make the healthiest choice possible, whenever possible. (Weirdly enough, this isn't as hard as it should be and I don't feel deprived!)

This whole self-preservation project was about my life as a whole not just the way I look. At the moment I've hit a mini brick wall. So I'm going to take a little piece of advice Karren Brady gave me. 'Get two sheets of paper and write out where you want to be, the on the other piece work out what you need to do to get there.' She's my hero. The fact that she was dressed in Chanel when I met her only fuelled my love.

It's STILL my year!

UPDATE!

I should be packing, but like all the other things I’m putting off, updating my diet blog is one of them.

So, what’s occurring? A stone and a bit down on The Cambridge Diet, a very low calorie diet (VLCD) that consists of shakes, soups and bars (some food too ona variation of the diet.) I’ve done this diet before a few years ago lost LOADS, lost the plot, then put most of it back on because the way I deal with food didn’t change.

So I tried again (the lure of a quick fix is too hard to resist) and lost about a stone. The weight didn’t fall off like it did last time, rather, my body clearly has had enough. I’ve just written a feature on metabolism, and although experts say our metabolism’s return to normal after extreme periods of dieting, mine doesn’t feel like it’s ever quite recovered. Still, it did the job initially.

The last few weeks my weight-loss stopped, and I moved over to Atkins. It’s based on a similar process to CD, in that it relies on ketosis (the body using it’s fat stores to fuel activity) but it’s much higher calorie. The downside if that it’s heavily processed and relies on massive amounts of meat, cheese and eggs. Let me be clear, there are only so many omelettes a girl can take. The thought of an egg now makes me want to projectile HURL.

And now? Well, I’ve put on 1lb which is to be expected coming out of ketosis, but to compensate I’ll be hitting that gym. I’m back to ‘regular’ eating, but I have learned that protein rich foods are the way forwards for me! So will make sure I have protein with every meal, and to have a little bit of what I like rather than tonnes of processed foods. I’m considering joining weight watchers, so will keep you posted!

Other notes:
-I am, no joke, terrified of bread and pasta now.
-Turning down Sarah’s homemade pecan brownie was the last straw.
-There will be cake in my office every week. Fact. Just have a weeny piece or better yet, none!

Moral of the story, quick fixes are ok, but actually, there is only so long you can forcibly make yourself (and others) miserable. Hello (to some) carbs, goodbye chemicals.

BRING ON
THE SUMMER!

THREE: In which she hits a hurdle...

HANGRY

It’s that angry feeling you get when you’re starving and need to be fuelled. Add that to MISERY, (soon to be homeless and other assorted life stress) and it’s fair to say I've got a case of the mean reds. My whine level has gone up a notch and taken on a nasal self-piteous drone. I threw a hissy fit in Nando’s today, as if those people don’t have it hard enough. Sheesh, what a churl!

Normally, I’d comfort myself with something decadent and divine. But learning to break those habits is tough and essentially comes down to a choice. Whether you want cake or you want to lose weight (and be healthy). It seems I want the latter more, and I’m hoping my resolve sticks. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that I feel really low and, well, quite sad.

It’s that point you reach in any diet or healthy eating regime. The starvation existential crisis. ‘What does it all mean, why am I doing this? Why don't I just eat and make myself happy, I deserve that!’ you cry to yourself walking past a Krispy Kreme. (Actually my vices are Maison du Chocolat macarons and Waitrose Florentines, but you get the idea.) But, in the end, maybe what I'll gain from not eating is the better reward?

On plus side (arf!) I have gone down a dress size, and none of my jeans fit. Annoying and cool at the same time. And Ive almost doubled my running time, so there is light at the end of the long, hungry tunnel. Whether my amazing lovely friends at work disown me is quite another matter. (Please don’t guys I NEED YOU, like I used to need hobnobs.)

TWO: In which she learns the power of No.

The big two-seven, and it’s still on my mind…

I was sat at the back of the 38 bus today, watching a crackhead fall asleep against the window, his breath steaming up the glass. I’d just watched The Big C, a dark US comedy on Channel 4, where else, about a woman with terminal melanoma. ‘Time is precious and certainly not to be wasted’, I thought to myself. ‘Carpe diem Capricorn, not a moment to lose!'

Yes, today I will be better.

That was the error. If you had just a year to live what would you do with those fleeting 525 948.766 minutes? Oddly enough, being better/the best/ better than anyone else doesn’t have a sliver of bearing now. It doesn’t seem like very much time does it - and yet – I’m sure we’ve all wasted time with self-doubt. Letting tiresome episodes play out gathering speed and size in our minds before they become colossal and all-consuming. Failing to reach our goals, whether they’re mind or body related.

It’s time to put ourselves first and scrap being better.*

That’s the basic premise of It's My Year. (But your year should be about you - naturally - not about me because that would be weird, but thanks for the good vibes there.) You can control a fair amount of your life health-wise; from what you eat, when you work out and so forth. Even if you’re surrounded by a trough of lemon drizzle and you’re hallucinating hobnobs (this happened Wednesday night, I wish I was joking,) you have an active choice.

Here comes to the CBT bit; you can strengthen your ‘no’ muscle and weaken your ‘giving in’ muscle with practice. When you’re offered a slice of vicky sponge, think about the muscles and which one you want to work on, and say no. Whilst that’s easier said than done - especially in the face of daily adversity – it’s a choice nonetheless. And if you keep making those choices, they’ll become easier and easier to make. Until we all live happily ever after.

It’s not that easy – otherwise we’d all be skinny, myself included. But – the muscle imagery does help to make the right choices and it’s really helped me, so I’m passing it on.

*This is not to say you should be mean to people, in any way. You can put yourself first and still be nice. Meanness causes wrinkles – fact. **

** Er, it doesn’t cause wrinkles per se, but if you frown all the time one day the wind will change!***

***This is not a fact either.



READ: The Beck Diet Solution, Judith Beck, (£6.99, Oxmoor House)
WATCH: The Big C, Channel 4, Thursdays at 11pm

UPDATE: Time I took my own advice

We’re always at the end of our to-do lists. By we I mean women. Friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends, work, washing our sheets, walking the dog – the list is endless. Come on, be honest; how many times have you shirked off a much-needed haircut for something mundane that simply had to be done maitenant?

I’m a repeat offender. I find nail painting a real chore, going to the gym actually requires a bribe (4 times a week and I get a fashion-related treat) and anything else is a real bonus. This isn't some inane vanity quest, but about taking the time to actively do what makes you feel confident and happy. Ask any psychologist, making time for what you enjoy is vital for self-esteem, because you're worth spending time and effort on.

Turning 27 shook me up a little. I decided that 2011 was going to be the year of being organised, responsible, and less haphazard. In every aspect of my life, but particularly in my approach to how I look after myself. As a health and beauty journo, I'm no stranger to what I should be doing for my health. I write about it every day, it's certainly time I started taking my own advice.

DIET:
So, with this in mind, I’ve cut out carbs, sugar and alcohol and intend to stick to it for 3 months. I have PCOS and although it's not too severe, I feel much better with a high protein intake to keep my insulin levels steady. I’m drinking 3 litres of water a day and trying to limit my caffeine to 2 cups a day. I’m also sitting down to eat, eating slowly and planning what I’m eating in advance. I’m following the advice of Judith Beck, in the Beck Diet Solution. Beck uses Cognitive Behavioral therapy to conquer food issues and keep you focused on your goals.

EXERCISE
I’m unfathomably jealous of people who actually like working out. As soon as somebody says they're a gym bunny, I watch them turn green and float back onto their spaceships - aliens, the lot of them. I’m hoping that one day it will suddenly become addictive, until then I’m seeing my strict (gulp) trainer who will be keeping me on track. I’m also pledging to go 4 times a week. I just learned that exercise is more important to our overall health than our weight. So you can be slim and have no physical output, but if you're overweight and have regular exercise you'll probably be 'healthier.'

HEALTH
2010 wasn’t a great year for my wellbeing. I had every sniffle going, then managed to royally mess up my stomach in Barcelona on a wine tour (almost worth it for the Torres Vina Esmeralda 2009) which hasn’t been the same since. I was also stressed to the max, and driving myself insane with self-doubt – it’s a real pitfall of being a perfectionist. You’re never good enough for yourself. So in 2011, I’m cutting myself some much needed slack.

So, there we have it. Will update every few weeks with progress and any great tips I pick up along the way. So far, I’ve been on the plan for 3 weeks and have lost 7lbs, 2cm from my hips and 5cms off my waist. So I hope you'll come along for the ride, I know you're out there, I get 100 hits a day so introduce yourselves at once I implore you!