THREE: In which she hits a hurdle...

HANGRY

It’s that angry feeling you get when you’re starving and need to be fuelled. Add that to MISERY, (soon to be homeless and other assorted life stress) and it’s fair to say I've got a case of the mean reds. My whine level has gone up a notch and taken on a nasal self-piteous drone. I threw a hissy fit in Nando’s today, as if those people don’t have it hard enough. Sheesh, what a churl!

Normally, I’d comfort myself with something decadent and divine. But learning to break those habits is tough and essentially comes down to a choice. Whether you want cake or you want to lose weight (and be healthy). It seems I want the latter more, and I’m hoping my resolve sticks. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that I feel really low and, well, quite sad.

It’s that point you reach in any diet or healthy eating regime. The starvation existential crisis. ‘What does it all mean, why am I doing this? Why don't I just eat and make myself happy, I deserve that!’ you cry to yourself walking past a Krispy Kreme. (Actually my vices are Maison du Chocolat macarons and Waitrose Florentines, but you get the idea.) But, in the end, maybe what I'll gain from not eating is the better reward?

On plus side (arf!) I have gone down a dress size, and none of my jeans fit. Annoying and cool at the same time. And Ive almost doubled my running time, so there is light at the end of the long, hungry tunnel. Whether my amazing lovely friends at work disown me is quite another matter. (Please don’t guys I NEED YOU, like I used to need hobnobs.)