TWO: In which she learns the power of No.

The big two-seven, and it’s still on my mind…

I was sat at the back of the 38 bus today, watching a crackhead fall asleep against the window, his breath steaming up the glass. I’d just watched The Big C, a dark US comedy on Channel 4, where else, about a woman with terminal melanoma. ‘Time is precious and certainly not to be wasted’, I thought to myself. ‘Carpe diem Capricorn, not a moment to lose!'

Yes, today I will be better.

That was the error. If you had just a year to live what would you do with those fleeting 525 948.766 minutes? Oddly enough, being better/the best/ better than anyone else doesn’t have a sliver of bearing now. It doesn’t seem like very much time does it - and yet – I’m sure we’ve all wasted time with self-doubt. Letting tiresome episodes play out gathering speed and size in our minds before they become colossal and all-consuming. Failing to reach our goals, whether they’re mind or body related.

It’s time to put ourselves first and scrap being better.*

That’s the basic premise of It's My Year. (But your year should be about you - naturally - not about me because that would be weird, but thanks for the good vibes there.) You can control a fair amount of your life health-wise; from what you eat, when you work out and so forth. Even if you’re surrounded by a trough of lemon drizzle and you’re hallucinating hobnobs (this happened Wednesday night, I wish I was joking,) you have an active choice.

Here comes to the CBT bit; you can strengthen your ‘no’ muscle and weaken your ‘giving in’ muscle with practice. When you’re offered a slice of vicky sponge, think about the muscles and which one you want to work on, and say no. Whilst that’s easier said than done - especially in the face of daily adversity – it’s a choice nonetheless. And if you keep making those choices, they’ll become easier and easier to make. Until we all live happily ever after.

It’s not that easy – otherwise we’d all be skinny, myself included. But – the muscle imagery does help to make the right choices and it’s really helped me, so I’m passing it on.

*This is not to say you should be mean to people, in any way. You can put yourself first and still be nice. Meanness causes wrinkles – fact. **

** Er, it doesn’t cause wrinkles per se, but if you frown all the time one day the wind will change!***

***This is not a fact either.



READ: The Beck Diet Solution, Judith Beck, (£6.99, Oxmoor House)
WATCH: The Big C, Channel 4, Thursdays at 11pm